Happy Freakin Birthday
by Raven-2010
Summary: A few days before Sesshoumaru's birthday & birthday party, wise ass Inu tortures Inutaisho who out does Inu & gets revenge in twisted comical ways, as their battle rages on something unexpected happens, updated 8/11 comedy romance tricks LEMON Sessh/Kag


**Disclaimer I don't own Inuyasha Rumiko Takahashi and VIZ Media do Rated R lemon**

It's a few days before Sesshoumaru's birthday, wiseass Inuyasha torments his father who takes revenge in twisted ways, while their battle rages on something unexpected occurs, Sesshoumaru makes a hilarious video of Inuyasha that he'll never forget. Updated extended, Aug 13 2011, Sessh/Kag

**Happy Freakin Birthday**

**By Raven2010 May 16 2011**

**It's war, the battle begins, booby trap backfire, a shocked hanyou**

It all started when Inuyasha booby trapped Sugimis's bed, when Sugimi entered his bedroom he found his bedspread a bit off, and he was very meticulous about his thing.. Sugimi took said booby trap from it's hiding place on the back of his headboard, waited till the coast was clear then snuck into Inuyasha's room, he then hid it behind the headboard of Inuyasha's bed, then snuck out, laid back and waited

"This will teach the little Inu weasel a lesson he won't soon forget, best part of all is that it's his own booby trap being used, hehehe" Sugimi mumbled to himself "Smart ass pup"

"Hm, quite entertaining their at it again" Sesshoumaru joked "LI have a feeling little brother is about to become road kill"

"Hey Sessh do you think pops gonna kill Inuyasha? Kagome asked, she called Sugimi pop and he loved it

"If we placed bets on it I would bet on father to win, Inuyasha never quits so it will be even more fun"

"So would I" she replied "And if pop dropped a bomb down Inuyasha's pants he still would not learn"

"Hehehe, his stupidity will be our never ending entertainment" Sesshoumaru stated

Inuyasha came home, and Sugimi hid with his scent and presence hidden, Inuyasha went to do as he did every day he'd go right to his room, take a shower, dry off dress in his casual clothes then happily plop down on his nice big comfy bed. Only this time would be different in a surprising way

"Miko I do believe this is going to be very interesting" Sesshoumaru commented

"Hey Sessh tell you what you get the soda, and I'll get the popcorn" Kagome said

"Deal" he answered, both ran got the goodies, met at the couch, sat down and waited for the show to start

"Hehehe, this is better then going to the movies" Kagome said

"Yes and best of all it's free"

"Hey we could make a movie out of this" she added, it'd be hilarious

"Now that's an idea" Sesshoumaru agreed "And I have a high power camera we can film this like a movie" he said smiling evilly

Sango, and Miroku came by, Kagome let them in and quickly filled them in on what was going on, and they joined Kagome, and Sesshoumaru on the couch. All four shared the goodies, even though it wasn't planned it was a good thing that Sango, and Miroku had brought cheese popcorn, and potato chips with them this added to the goody mix

Inuyasha finally finished his shower, dried off, dressed ,then plopped down on his bed, he was cockily mentally gloating while waiting for his father to lay on his bed and get the surprise. The second Inuyasha's body hit the bed the surprise was sprung, boom was heard then

"Yeeeow" Inuyasha screeched as an electrical shock jolted him, then "Eeeeeee,

"Nooooo" as he was covered by a gooey substance "Daaaaaaad, you flea bitten dog pelt today you die"

When Inuyasha came down the stairs he was covered in chocolate, mixed with honey, and he smelled like rotten eggs. Yes to Inuyasha's own little stink bomb Sugimi had added chocolate, and honey, plus the separate electric shock just for kicks, Sugimi outfoxed his wise ass pup, however all knew that Inuyasha was a very sore loser

"Eeeeeeew" Inuyasha when the hell's the last time you bathed over a week ago? No wait must've been a month" Sango ragged "Oh the stench we're gonna die, gods my hair's curling"

"Man I have heard of crapping yourself, but this is the first time I've ever witnessed the after affects of explosive diarrhea covering your body" Miroku teased "You should attach a hose to your back door, then you wouldn't get sprayed with your own home made chocolate"

"Little brother I have just this minute been made aware of your inability to control to your bodily functions" but must you subject us to such a disgusting sight, and smell, would you kindly bathe before entering the other parts of our home? Sesshoumaru ragged

"Yeah Stinkyasha, be a good puppy and go take a bath" will ya? Kagome added "You can use some nice lemon scented disinfectant, then you'll smell lemony fresh"

"Wench I ain't no damned puppy, you can take a lemon disinfectant douche, and fuck you one and all" Inuyasha barked

"But Yasha us girls love you, no bath no love" Sango, and Kagome teased

"Up yours, _**Daaaaad**_ get your ass out here old man, nooooow, ya miserable old buzzard" Inuyasha yelled

"Don't spank me mommy, my bottom is sensitive, and I'm a good boy, I did not mean to be naughty" Sugimi teased

"You fucker I'll give you naughty, sensitive bottom, hah, when I'm finished with you it'll be numb permanently, now it's war, ya stupid mutt"

"Sniff, sniff I'm sorry mommy, please don't beat me, I'll be good forgive me?" Sugimi "Mommy Satoriyasha" said feigning tears in a girly voice with big puppy dog eyes, then stuck his tongue out

"Ooooo that does it, now I'm gonna kill ya, Satoriyasha, they're gonna be calling you Sukigimi" Inuyasha threatened, Sugimi, turned slightly bent over, moved his butt from side to side, and made kissing sounds "I wont kiss it you miserable **codger,** but I'll damn sure kick it, hold still Dr Inu will do a little quick surgery"

"And make sure you put some chapstick on I wouldn't want to chafe from sandpaper lips" Sugimi ragged. Hearing that Sesshoumaru and his fellow observers nearly choked on their sodas laughing "Pucker up and be gentle"

"For fuck sake did ya have to add electricity and shock me? Inuyasha snapped "What have you been smoking crack?

"I like my victims wide awake and giving me their full attention, and you do tend to be very sleepy and an inattentive, bad puppy"

"Why you miserable prick, I only had a common stink bomb hooked up. But oh no you had to take it and then add chocolate, and honey to it, then fucking shock me too ya dirty bastard" Inuyasha yelled "You heard of a doormat, well your gonna be a dog mat"

"Aw if da poor widdle puppy can't take it then he should not dish it out" now should he? No he shouldn't, no he shouldn't" Sugimi mockingly needled

"I'll show you, puppy you old geezer" Inuyasha said, Sugimi turned and ran

"What no roses, and dinner, and romance first before you start the chase lover? Sugimi teased in a girls voice teased to rile more Inuyasha and it did "You damn men are all alike no courting, or romance, fill us with pups and run, sniff bastards"

"Eew" _**daaaaaaad **_will you cut that shit out? and stay still so I can kill ya? Inuyasha said while giving chase

"Stop bitching lazy ass pup this is one hunt, and kill you are going to have to work for"

'Yeah well start making funeral plans genius, and I hope you made out your will" Inuyasha wisecracked

"Yeeeees I did, and Sesshoumaru gets it all" Sugimi taunted, hearing that the soda in Sango, Sesshoumaru, Miroku ,and Kagome's mouths went spraying across the floor, when they broke into laughter

"Hey S, Sessh wanna have some fun? Kagome managed to ask between laughs

"Sure miko, you do it and I, I will play along" he got out

"Oh kamis" Sango, and Miroku gasped out in unison

"Ooooo Sesshy now we can get married " Kagome said in a dreamy voice, with her hand in Sesshoumaru's

So to up Inuyasha's torture level, and before he could respond. Sesshoumaru pulled Kagome into his lap, and snaked his long arms around her "Yes miko that, and other fun things as well, just like we've planned" Sesshoumaru said and winked

"Wha? Inuyasha started to say "Hah?

Even Sugimi had stopped to look "Oh shit this is better then bombing the little mutt" he thought "Game on"

Hearing that Inuyasha gave up his pursuit of Sugimi, stopped dead in his tracks, then turned to look in Sesshoumaru, and Kagome's direction. When his eyes fell upon them his heart nearly stopped, while he held her close Sesshoumaru had Kagome's lips covered with his own in a hot kiss, then slid one hand down, stopped at one of her butt cheeks giving it a gentle squeeze, and hung on

"Sic her Sessh" Miroku teased "Tenderize that ass"

"Way to go Kag's, don't be afraid to add some tongue" Sango added "Taste the taiyoukai"

"And in five, four, three, two, one, zero" Sugimi thought

"_**Nooooooooo" **_Inuyasha said, so to drive Inuyasha nuts Sesshoumaru added some tongue to the kiss "Son of a bitch the fucker added tongue" he thought

"Use the tongue, use the tongue, stroke the ass" Sugimi chanted "I'm such a proud dog papa"

"What? Inuyasha barked "And your cheering the fucker on, hey Sesshpervertmaru get your hand off of her ass before I cut it off"

Without a word Sesshoumaru took his hand off of Kagome's ass, held it up, gave Inuyasha the finger, then put his hand right back on her ass "Yay Sessh stroke the bootay" Sango wisecracked

Kouga who had slipped in, in the midst of the events taking place said "Ata a boy Sessh, deep exploration is the best, and she passes booty inspection with a 5 star rating"

"Kouga you fuc" Inuyasha started

"See ya sucker" Sugimi said, and took off "Got to go slow mo, come on Nekoyasha get a move on"

Hearing his fathers taunt Inuyasha came back to his senses "Oh no you don't dad get back here you Inu rat, hey and don't call me a damn neko" he said and gave chase "Stupid wench"

"Cant be a wench cuz I don't have a coochy, but I sure love coochy, hehehe, love to let Gimi play stroke the kitty all night long" Sugimi ragged

"Gross" will you shut up with that shit? And I cannot believe you actually named your dick Gimi, jeez you are one sick screwed up fucker" Inuyasha complained

"Aw I'm sorry pup you do not like pussy, right? Or is it that you don't like girls? Is that it? Sugimi ragged

**A breakfast to remember, shock to the system, a new kind of chocolate treat **

It was breakfast time and all gathered around the table, each one took their seat, Sugimi was the last to sit down. When he did the minute his ass touched the chair at the same time a loud thunderous fart was heard, and an electrical shock jolted him, his hair stood on end, and Sugimi stifled a scream

"There you go ya old goat, your not the only one who can give electrical shocks" now are you? Inuyasha bragged "Ah the old whoopee cushion rigged with a nice electric shock, now that's a fucking classic, hehehe"

"Little brother? Sesshoumaru said

"Yeah what? Inuyasha asked

"I suggest you run, starting now" Inuyasha did not need to be told twice he ran like hell

The chase went on for a while, by the time it ended breakfast was over, but Inuyasha however was about to be the recipient of a pickling surprise. A shriek of terror tore through the house, then begging for mercy was heard, next a machine being turned on, the gang ran to go see what was going on

When they got there they saw Inuyasha in the washing machine with vinegar, then Sugimi poured strong sickening sweet perfume in. Inuyasha would be smelling like a perfumed salad for a good while to come. While he spun around Inuyasha began to look drunk, the cycle finished, and Sugimi opened the washing machine door

"Wee again, p, p, pops Inu want more, ride again, ride again" Inuyasha stammered in a drunken voice, affected by the to sweet perfume, then ducked back inside again "Now ride now daddy. St, start it up again" he said

"Father you are without a doubt rotten, and one sick dog" Sesshoumaru said with an evil grin

"I know, I love my work" Sugimi answered, the others applauded "Thank you my children" he said then bowed

Sugimi pulled Inuyasha out of the washing machine, then put him over his shoulder "Pops weeeeeee, daddy let Inu ride twice, yay. Inuyasha get piggy back ride now, I love you daddy" Inuyasha said "Daddy wuvs his pup, yes he does, yes he does"

"Sesshoumaru what the hell are you doing? Sugimi asked

"Getting it on camera of course"

"Why? Sugimi asked

"So then when someone mentions this to little brother and he denies it I'll have the evidence, and can prove it"

"Bad dog, bad dog" Sugimi ragged

"Yes but a happy dog" Sesshoumaru teased and laughed

Later that day Inuyasha woke up _**"Sugimiiiiiii" **_Inuyasha screamed, he never called his father by his first name "I don't give a hairy, fart filled rats ass this time how you die, but one way or another today's the day you die old man"

"Father what have you done? Sesshoumaru inquired

"You shall see in a minute, maybe less when your brother makes his appearance" Sugimi replied "It is film worthy if you wish to grab your camera then do so quickly" "Why "Thank you, I will" Sesshoumaru said and did

Inuyasha came running down the stairs wearing an all pink ballerina outfit, with matching ballet slippers. Each one of his front locks had a pink bow on it "I have never wanted you dead more then I do right now, you dirty old flea bag" Inuyasha screamed

"Little brother I mean sister you have never looked lovelier" Sesshoumaru teased

"Shut uuuuuuup butt breath" Inuyasha snapped "Stinking stupid mangy taiyoukai's, I hate Inu's to pieces" he snapped "They line em all up and shoot them"

"Little brother? Sesshoumaru called

"Yeah what the fuck do you want, prissy missy?" Inuyasha bit out

"You say you hate Inu's then you are a self hating dog" Sesshoumaru teased "I know ancient magic's, I could turn you into a neko if you like"

"Shit I forgot that, you had to remind" didn't ya? Inuyasha responded "And no I do not want to be a frigging neko"

"I am a big dog sniff, but it breaks my wittle heart to hear that my little puppy hates himself, as well as his own species sniff, sniff" Sugimi teased and feigned tears "Inuwasha how could you? He said just to get under Inuyasha's skin and did

"Ooooo my name is Inuyasha not Inuwasha, Inu-ya-sha" got it? And I ain't no damn fuckin puppy numb nuts"

"Awww my little puppy has bite, and quite a temper to, yes he does, yes he does, I think baby needs his bottle" Sugimi taunted

"_**Damn youuuuuu" **_Inuyasha yelled "You miserable, rotten needs to be wearing diapers old goat, stupid mutt, never ending pain in the ass"

"Stay right there son while daddy gets your teething ring for you, I put it in the freezer this time so it will sooth your sore teething gums. Oh and before I forget you look so beautiful in pink" Sugimi teased

Inuyasha lunged and got his father in a headlock, then attempted to give him a noogie, and just when he was about to make contact Sugimi easily flipped him over his shoulder, and took off "Old man when I'm through with you you'll be singing soprano"

"Ooooo do you mean it" Sugimi ragged while being chased "Shit love really does hurt"

"Yeah stay still and I'll prove it to you"

"Well at least have the decency to sterilize your claws first, we wouldn't want infection to set in" now would we? Sugimi ragged "Hey wait a minute are you licensed?

"Hey look at mutt face go" Kouga said "Be a good girl for daddy" Kouga teased "We so have to get her a good strong male to mate"

"Kouga gods damn you, you son of a bitch I like women" Inuyasha yelled back

"Hehehe, father loves tormenting little brother" Sesshoumaru said "Inuyasha forgets about fathers sadistic practical joke playing side, and that that's where he gets it from"

"Yep and pops is the master" Kagome added

Everybody was sitting in the living room, Sugimi was on the middle of the couch, faster then you could sneeze and at the same time Sugimi felt ice cold liquid being poured down the small of his back. Then his underwear where pulled up and over the top of his head, and an insanely laughing hanyou was heard

"How do ya like me now Pappy? Inuyasha said "Puppies cant do good shit like this"

"_**Inuyashaaaaa? **_Sugimi screamed, his cheek stripes went jagged eyes reddened, and fangs elongated "Growl"

"Uh oh" the others exclaimed

Inuyasha looked "Ohhhhh shit" he said "Crap I am so screwed" he thought

"Yash think you over did it this time" Sango stated

"Yeah man the mega wedgy you went to far with that, it mangled his male parts, that's why he's in murder mode" Miroku told Inuyasha

"Gulp, calm down pops I was just kidding, deep breaths, take deep breaths that always helps" Inuyasha tried

"It would fool if you were in child birthing class" Sesshoumaru ragged "But your not, so your dead, hehehe"

"F, fuck you Maru" Inuyasha shot back, while backing away from Sugimi

"Dumb ass" Kouga, Sango, and Miroku said

"Hm big dog bites little dog, works for me" Sesshoumaru said smiling evilly

"Poor innocent helpful kind loving pops, you always pick on him" Kagome teased "You tortured him so technically you started it"

"M, me, look at him fangs claws, gulp red eyes, wants me dead" Inuyasha whined "D, dad relax man I'm sorry" let me live pretty please?

Sugimi's response was cracking his knuckles and flexing his claws, to scare Inuyasha even more he licked his lips, and partially transformed. Then started ferally growling, Inuyasha saw his chance took it turned and ran as though his life depended on it, barely keeping an in inch of space between Sugimi and himself

"Don't make pops work to hard" Kagome teased "Doing that is cruelty to dogs"

"Gee thanks wench" Inuyasha replied, dog abuse to him" what about me? Yeeeeeow, dad I ain't a fuckin ow chew toy" he yelped when Sugimi nipped again "Oh I hate freakin dogs"

At lunch the next day Sugimi and Inuyasha shared one love and favorite addiction chocolates, both reached for a chocolate "Remember pop the caramel ones are mine" Inuyasha said

"Yes brat, and the solid milk chocolate ones are mine" Sugimi replied

"Deal" Inuyasha said

As Sugimi bit into a chocolate he got a mouth full of raw garlic, but when Inuyasha who had done the dirty deed of putting the garlic in his fathers chocolates bit into his he got a mouth full of jalapeno pepper. Or as Sugimi called them Spanish fire, he ate them like candy, first shock followed by repulsion then rage covered Inuyasha's perfect angelic features, then his eyes read must kill tormentor

"Uh oh here it comes, any second now" Sesshoumaru thought

"Ahhhhhhhhh, hot, hot, hot. Pant ow, ow" Inuyasha whined "Ohhh burns make it stop" he said then started gulping cold water which did no good because Sugimi had added a few drops of hot pepper juice to it

"Who's the bitch now? Hehehe" Sugimi ragged his infuriated pup

"Bas-te-rd" Inuyasha tried but couldn't finish because his tongue and mouth were burning

"Bastard pup, I do believe bastard is the word your looking for" Sugimi said in a casual carefree tone pissing Inuyasha off to no end "Come on say it with me bastard"

"Miswable pwick" Inuyasha tried to say, but could not properly form the words "Puckin asshoe"

"Yes son I have a prick but he's not miserable, in fact he is a very happy well rounded individual" Sugumi taunted "And calling yourself an asshole really is vile. I wish you'd stop doing it"

"Puck you"

"Puck you to pup" Sugimi ragged "Puck, hm didn't know we were playing hockey"

"Ughhh" Inuyasha grunted in defeat

"Little brother always did have the strangest tastes in snacks" Sesshoumaru said

"Puck oo Sess-ho-mawoo" Inuyasha got out

"Fuck is the word you want, and puck you to little brother" Sesshoumaru joked "Try not to puck up to much"

"I ate oo" Inuyasha tried to say with his now red tongue hanging out

"Aw and I hate you to coochy coo" Sugimi razzed, then ran getting the chase he wanted "Oh ate me, gee I thought the only thing you ate attached to a living body was the hairy little kitty"

"Eat pusswe not kittwe" Inuyasha tried to say

"Eat pussy little brother, not pusswe" Sesshoumaru needled

"Aw mutt face he is so pucking cute" Kouga joked, setting Inuyasha's already hot blood to boil

"_**Pougaaaaa" **_Inuyasha screeched

"Kouga dog breath, come on say it with me Kouga. We're both canine and you cant even speak dog, jeez" Kouga teased, every one there cracked up

"It seems that we will have to send little brother to dog school to correct that problem" Sesshoumaru teased

"Sesshoumaru I bow to thee your father is the king" Kagome said and gave him a bow "I have really got to get papa a gift as thanks"

"We will never be at a loss for entertainment, seeing as how little brother knows not when to quit" Sesshoumaru stated

"So true" the other's agreed

"Good old mutt face always keeps it interesting" Kouga said

**Hot dreams, unexpected visitor, happy birthday Sesshoumaru**

11:30 pm that night Sesshoumaru went into the den, shut the door behind him, walked over to and sat in the huge high back reclining chair. He watched some TV for a while then turned it off, at first he thought to sit for a few minutes before going upstairs to his room and go to bed., before he knew it he had drifted off to sleep

A while later he began to dream, lips pressed against his, hands explored his body, then slid beneath his shirt ghosting over his chest, making their way down to his lower half. While lips made their way from his lips to his jaw, then his neck, and a hot mouth gently sucking on his pulse point, Sesshoumaru's neck always was one of his erogenous zones, next he felt his pants opening then being pulled down

"This feels good" he thought "I don not want it to end"

"My hot Inu" she said to herself "Oh what I'm going to do to his hot sexy little ass"

**Lemon starts**

He had never been so damn hard in all his life, the hand that now held his length was so soft, warm, and gentle, he could enjoy this sweet ecstasy for life. He suddenly felt a weight upon him, the dream ended, and his eyes snapped open to what had awoken him, shock surprise and delight filled him, Kagome was straddling him and had him fully sheathed within her and was riding him slow and steady

"Yes miko" he said in a heavy lust filled voice "Yes right there do not stop" he instructed, then took her lips in a hard crushing kiss

"Mmmm" she moaned

Kagome reached down between them and stroked his balls a few times, Sesshoumaru took her wrists put her arms over her head, and with one hand held them up, while the other felt her ass. He then moved on to feeling her breasts with his free hand, then latched onto them one at a time with his lips, he teased them with his lips teeth and tongue

"Do you want it? He teased

"Oh Sesshoumaru, yes I w, want, I n, need it" she said in a breathy moan

"Now my little miko you are in trouble" he said in a sultry voice "Do you submit? He asked sexily

"Yes, gods yes only to you" she said, and she bore her neck in submission to him "Do whatever you want to me"

"Good girl that is what I want to hear" he said, then nipped her neck "I fully intend to pleasure you beyond imagining"

The second he released her wrists her hands went to his shoulders, next clothes were shed, passion led the way, and almost unbearable pleasure built up to explosive levels. Sesshoumaru began thrusting into her, and was beyond happy when he heard her for the first time call his name in ecstasy, the ecstasy only he could give her, for after this night no other would

"Se, Sesshoumaru it it's" She said "_**Oh kamis Sesshoumaru" **_she cried out as another climax hit

"Good girl give me all that you have" his male pride swelled 10 fold when he felt the evidence of her pleasure drench his shaft "Hm you are a hot one" aren't you?

"Se, sesshoumaru it's I nee" she got out between gasps, couldn't finish

"Take all that you need, I want you to. I wish to see the ecstasy written across your face"

Then he felt her passage clamp tight around him, but this time was harder and far more intense then the previous times. Kagome started moving up and down faster, and harder "Sesshoumaru"

"Go as hard as you want my miko I can take it" and she did with almost inhuman strength and force

And it began _**"Ohhhhh Sesshy" **_she called out

"_**Ughhh Kagome" **_She felt his fangs piercing her neck marking her as his, just as she in turn did to him, the two then started kissing hard and fast, tongues danced that eternal dance

1::am after they were done and stopped for a brief rest "Happy birthday Sesshoumaru" Kagome said

"Thank you mate, and you are the best birthday gift I have ever gotten in my whole life" he praised "I must say that never in a million years did I expect something like this from you"

"Sesshy?

"Yes?

"Miko has a fever and needs her temperature taken" she teased

"Have no fear Dr Taisho is here" he said, then thrust his hips upward

"Wow that is a big thermometer you've got there, I hope you have a license for it" she teased

"Is this license enough for you? He said and pounded into her relentlessly

"Y, y, yes" she stammered

"_**Ughhh" **_both groaned as another round of climaxes hit them hard, they made love for hours

**Lemon ends**

After "You assassin" she joked

"I forgive you for molesting me in my sleep" Sesshoumaru teased, then they fell asleep in each others arms

**Birthday afternoon, shocked hanyou, new mates, scarecrow, internet movie surprise**

When Sesshoumaru didn't show up for breakfast Sugimi was curious, Inuyasha still couldn't smell anything yet because of the hot pepper. They searched Kagome wasn't in the guest room. Sesshoumaru was not in his room. Sugimi raised his nose and sniffed and followed the scent, not only did he find Sesshoumaru but another

Sugimi went to the den, eased the door open, there was Sesshoumaru with Kagome beneath him on the couch, and a blanket over them. Sesshoumaru was kissing her passionately, and she moaned beneath his touch, smiling Sugimi knew right then and there that the two love birds weren't going to be seen for breakfast, Sugimi quickly shut the door, and left fast he mentally did a happy dance, he was right they never made it to breakfast

Lunch time "Hey pop where's Sessh? And I don't see the wench either" don't they know where having his damn birthday party today? Jeez you'd think the guy would at least make an effort to show for his own party" Inuyasha commented

Sugimi said nothing and just stared at his curious pup with a grin, then "Inuyasha I am sure your brother will be here soon enough, so stop your complaining and worrying"

"Yeah sure fine ok whatever pops" Inuyasha said

When Inuyasha saw Kouga, Sango, Miroku, and the faces of everyone else there lit with smiles, he turned to look in the direction they were looking toward. He gulped when he saw Sesshoumaru entering the dining room with Kagome over his shoulder carrying her to the table, Sesshoumaru sat down keeping Kagome on his lap

"Good afternoon all" Sesshoumaru greeted "It is a beautiful day" is it not?

"Good afternoon Sesshykins" Kagura, Ayame, and Sango teased in excited girly voices

"Hey Sessh" Miroku, Kohaku, and Kouga greeted barely able to keep a straight face

"Congratulations my son" Sugimi said "And Kagome I was hoping to have you as a daughter in law, welcome to the family"

"Thank you" she and Sesshoumaru answered

"Happy birthday" all but Inuyasha said

"Happy freakin birthday, ya horny bastard" Inuyasha added "Hey fluffy got rug burn?

"Ok girls we gotta put the word out Sessh is officially off the market" Kagura announced

"Yup" Ayame, and Sango agreed

"_**Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, bet she rode ya till your black and blue and broke your nuts to. Even after all that lovin left you sore if you fell dead on the floor you'd still beg for more" **_Inuyasha sang

"Little brother if I were not on what humans call a honeymoon then I'd care and kill you" Sesshoumaru stated "But do take care for you never know when I might strike"

"Aw lord fluffy dove into and swam in the muffy" Inuyasha ragged and winked in a suggestive way

"Little brother when my honeymoon aka after mating period has ended, you die" Sesshoumaru said with the most evil sadistic smile "Wait for it"

"Yeah sure fluffykins your honeymoon I mean hornymoon will never end, ya sex fiend" Inuyasha ragged

Sesshoumaru wanted it so Miroku married he and Kagome to each other that same da, .then they had the birthday party. Now Sesshoumaru's birthday would not be just a birthday anymore it would also be his mating and marriage anniversary to, Sugimi was one very happy taiyoukai

For days Inuyasha stayed on pins and needles Sesshoumaru's promise running through and tormenting his mind, he was wondering when Sesshoumaru was going to make good on his promise. About three weeks later Inuyasha found out when he woke up and found himself tied up on a wooden cross like stand, dressed in an old black suit, wearing a straw hat, hay was stuffed into the arms, legs, and body of his clothes

Yes Sesshoumaru had gotten revenge by dressing Inuyasha up like a scarecrow, then setting him wooden stand and all in the middle of the Taisho garden for all to see. And dear Sesshoumaru was getting the whole thing on tape. Inuyasha looked around at first not wanting to believe it was all real he closed his eyes and blinked several times, then finally accepted that it was real

"Sesshoumaruuuuu?

"Yes dear brother?

"What the fuck did you do?

"Goood morning little bro" did I not tell you to take care, that you would never know when I might strike? Sesshoumaru reminded, and smirked evilly "And didn't I also tell you to wait for it.? Well your wait is over, so relax and enjoy"

"Ohhhhh you suck" Inuyasha whined

But it did not end there for Sesshoumaru had another shocking surprise for his dear sweet little brother, he released Inuyasha from the scarecrow stand, Inuyasha swiftly went to work of getting the suit off, and removing the hay from his person. All he wanted now was to take a nice relaxing hot shower, and forget all the humiliating events that had taken place over the past few days

After his shower Inuyasha dried off, picked out a set of clean clothes, got dressed, relaxed for a while, then decided he'd check his e mail, he turned his computer on, and a message popped up _**play me **_it said. Inuyasha clicked on it. It loaded, then started to play

golden eyes went wide as he saw a video of his humiliations over the past few days playing on the internet for not only him but all to see, yup Sesshoumaru made a movie

and put it on the internet

Downstairs "Alright Sesshoumaru I know you did something else" now what is it? Sugimi asked

"Who I? why father I am surprised at your level of distrust in me"

"Oh cut the shit, and spill" Sugimi said

Sesshoumaru grinned evilly, and sadistically "Patience father"

"Oh my dear kamis, it's evil, and really sick" isn't it? Sesshoumaru's grin broadened

Wide golden eyes were glued to the monitor screen, as a frozen in shock hanyou watched the events of the pas few days play out before his eyes "Son of a bitch, Sesshoumaruuuuu, you asshole" Inuyasha screamed

"Well father that's my cue, I will see you later" Sesshoumaru told Sugimi, then disappeared in a flash of light

A silver streak flew past Sugimi like a speeding bullet as Inuyasha began his murderous chase of his elder brother ensued, dying of curiosity, and the burning need to know Sugimi flew up to his youngest pups room to see the source of his sons distress. Inuyasha's computer was still on, and he saw _**play me **_on the screen so the curious taiyoukai clicked on it and saw Sesshoumaru's masterpiece start to play, and on his face was a combination of surprise mixed with a smile

"Ah hahahahaha" Sugimi began cracking up, fell on his laughing so hard he was holding his stomach

Hearing the combination of the thud, and laughter Kagome, Kouga, Sango, and the others made a beeline to Inuyasha's room "Shit Kouga said"

Sugimi pointed to the computer screen "Sesshoumaru, video, Inuyasha, pranks. Oh gods my stomach, I'm gonna die" he said unable to form or speak full sentences

"Kouga's beautiful blue eyes went wide, then his lips turned into an evil grin, the others looked, first shock covered their faces then the whole group broke out laughing "Now th, that is a, f, fucking masterpiece, the epic prank of the cen, centuary" Kouga choked out

"Shit this ones going to go down in his, history, and last throughout t, the centuries" Miroku managed to say between gasps for breath

"Shit I am mated to one sic, sick but lovable dog" Kagome said

"I sw, swear the bastard nearly sicker then me, and we all know I, I am one sick puppy" Sugimi said

"Fuck this is epic" Kagura managed to say

Three hours later Inuyasha came home wearing nothing but his underwear, and his shirt tied around his neck like a bow tie, with the conquering king of practical jokes close behind him Sesshoumaru in all of his chain yanking glory. Sango and the others all snapped pictures of the poor unfortunate hanyou with their cell phone cameras, receiving a golden eyed glare from their favorite hanyou

"Hey m, mutt face have an audition at the male strip club, did ya? Kouga needled "You do know that your not supposed to wait till your on stage before you start stripping" right?

"Come on strut for us shake your little booty" Kagura teased

"Hey sexy nice ass" Ayame teased

"Wow Inuyasha nice package" Sango razzed

"Show off" Sugimi joked

"My eyes, my eyes e gads I think I'm scarred for life" Shippou, Kohaku, and Rin ragged "The horror"

"You know Inuyasha you shouldn't really walk the street like that you might get raped" Kagome said

"That, or the cops might bust you for prostitution" Miroku added

"Yes dear brother it is indecent of you to run around in that unseemly state of undress, you really should put some clothes on" Sesshoumaru taunted

"I hate you people, one and all" Inuyasha said in a defeated tone, then stomped off up to his room

"Sesshoumaru you are one twisted deranged dog" Sugimi said

"Why thank you father, I inherited it from you oh master of perverted depraved humor"


End file.
